Normal service will resume shortly...

I apologise to the god/s of cyber space for not posting since September.
No real reason apart from the usual boring ones like I’ve been a bit busy with my new job, or I've been depressed by the onset of the winter months. (Although, aren’t the trees pretty at the moment?) Arghhhh GOD in Cyber space, With comments like that no wonder I'm depressed.

Anywho, let’s have a quick catch up and then "Normal service will resume shortly". Okay well let’s see Since September errrr now I remember why I started writing this stupid blog, COS my memories shot from years of alcoholic abuse. RIGHT here goes.

Previously On Kaiser Keith.

1, Finished Jed’s CARS room. (Photos to follow).
2, Nicole, Mummy, Sandra and Laura are staying in the London union jack club on a shopping weekend this weekend. Dad and I did the Long hard slog in the Army and the girls reap the benefit... Tut tut...
3, Went to the Monts with Captain dog and were joined by some of my Herne Bay Buddies on their way to a Northern Soul do in Pegwell bay.
4, Raked the leaves up in my meadow.
5, Looked into eating RAW for 30 days. Raw for 30 days and Raw for life Cos I just aint weird enough...
6, Cleaned my new car for the first time. With my own hands... Get me I will be watching Top Gear next.
7, Had a lovely birthday bash for my Mummy at me sisters. With fireworks and everything.
8, Had a soaking wet Guy Fawkes Night, with Hot Potatoes, Hot Dogs and Hot Marshmallows.
9, Nicole took the kids trick or treating 20th century style. i.e. in the car.
10, Passed some Pegasus accreditations.
11, Stopped drinking 5 times. Just can’t do hangovers anymore, until the next time.
12, Went to see High School Musical 3 "OMG, it’s like SOOOO Coolllllll...."
13, Watched the Indiana Jones trilogy for the first time with Jed Indi and Georgia Bean.

"Hold on so Jed Indi is named after aspects of my favourite films... Jedi and Indiana Jones... Right soooooo does that mean Georgia is named after Mr Bean"...... DOH!

14, Watched Star wars Part IV for the first time with Master Jed I Silk.... Poor Kid!
15, Got a virus off F**king Facebook... Well not actually F**king Facebook. Oh you know what I mean. Be careful out there kids...

And that’s about it.

Off to bed now as I am taking the kids to their swimming lesson in the morning and it starts at eight.

OMG
SAVE ME JEEBUS!

KK

Madonna and the Yomp

This week I went to see Madonna at Wembley Stadium with Nicole, Andrew and Crystal.

Madonna put on a fantastic show despite her late appearance, sound problems and London transport.

With the 2012 Olympics on its way I suggest that Boris sorts out the transportation problems at Wembley once and for all, and I also suggest the underground system is open 24 hours.

We parked in North Harrow and got the tube into Wembley Park Station no problem at all, and enjoyed the show even with the shoddy sound system.
Then as we were crammed into Olympic Way with around 60,000 others all heading to Wembley Park station they decided to shut it early. Stranding us a mile away from our car, as we started to walk people were asking us which way to North Greenwich and which way to Victoria station... Oh Dear, Sort it out Boris.
On an amusing note, I have got to take my hat off to the Police Officer who after the station announced it was closed, calmly asked around 60,000 people to turn around and head back to Wembley stadium. Very brave man indeed.

Yesterday Captain Dog, SAS Steve and I completed the 2008 Thanet Yomp. We had a beautiful day and what we considered to be excellent Yomping weather.

Starting at eight thirty this year we went the other way around towards Broadstairs from Ramsgate. Last year we noticed there was a lot of graffiti and started counting all the homophobic statements, the count was high. The count this year was to be swastikas and I am pleased to announce that we counted only one. We also noted that Thanet council has cleaned up the graffiti around the sea wall.

On our way into Minis bay we were overwhelmed by the smell of rotting sea weed, one of the most disgusting smells I have ever smelt, is this a normal occurrence at the seaside? I have never seen it before the sea looked like an oil slick.

Once on to the country half of the Yomp we decided to stop at three Pubs.

First stop was The Bell at St Nicolas at Wade, where I had probably the finest pint of Adnams broadside I have ever had. Here we met up with about 30 cyclists on an organised country pub crawl, what a fantastic idea. We then headed off to Minster and The Bell Inn, a very nice pub indeed where I had a pint of Sharps Doon bar from Rock in Cornwall.

We then moved on for the final stretch back to Ramsgate stopping at The Sir Stanley Gray in Pewell bay for a quick pint of Pheasant Pucker.

We finished at about 5.30 on Ramsgate seafront.

Well done to my fellow Yompers and we are all ready in discussion about next year’s direction. Although, today my legs are in tatters and I am currently considering retiring from the Yomp.

KK

Lounge on the Farm 2008

A few weekends ago I helped my Nephew Josh on his “Love Music Hate Racism” stand at LOTF. We shifted a granny trolley full of t-shirts and badges and I enjoyed the good banter in and around the stall.

The line up over the three days was far too vast for me to mention all the bands, entertainment food and drink I was exposed to, so here are a few highlights.

Total highlight of the weekend was meeting Paul Kaye AKA Mike Strutter just before his gig; he total blew me away as I have been a fan of Dennis Pennies from all those years ago. He asked me what my favourite Dennis Pennis Quote was and I replyed “The Clint Eastwood one” he immediately broke into Dennis Peniss with:

“Magnum the fastest Ice cream in the west! Do you feel licky PUNK!”
Top fella...


Had a chat with the Guys from Underground Heroes and shared some weird concoction they had with them.


Saw the New York Dolls...

For the bands I saw I would recommend the following:

Dead Kids, What Jesus would drive, Underground Heroes, Hotrods n Dragsters, Fool Fighters, Tortilla Army, Mike Strutter, Glam Chops, Art Brut, Black Kids, The New York Dolls, Cocos Lovers, Tom Hingley (Inspiral Carpets), Amber Room, Onlookers, We Smoke Faggs.

Plus many many more...
Check out the lounge on the farm website and ensure you go next year.

KK

Baby Pigeon Found

At last the answer to that age old question
“Why do you never see Baby Pigeon's”.
My Pigeon spotting posse have been searching for years and I am Proud to announce that Kimberly Hughes, head of the Thanet Baby Pigeon spotting association has not only finally found the elusive winged infant but has photographic evidence to prove it.

So please join me in congratulating Kimberly on her splendid find and I am proud to announce her new title Miss Kimberly Hughes BPSE (Baby Pigeon Spotter Excellence).

Well done Kim...

The Kaiser Keith Go Green Environmental World Saving Commute To Work On A Bike Fitness Drive.

The time has finally come, my moobs and belly have finally broken the camel’s back and Al Gore has scared the crap out of me with his "An Inconvenient Truth" carbon-neutral documentary, so I have decided to do something about it.

I have been a member or our local JJB Gym for some time now. However, as predicted by many of my close friends visits have dwindled off somewhat.

So as the sun has started to shine through what is left of our Ozone layer, I have decided to take some advice from my fellow Yomper SAS Steve. He suggested whilst passing my work place some 10 miles into the Thanet Yomp 2007, that if I cycled in every day I would be as “Fit as a fiddle”.

Well Steve! Yesterday I started the "Kaiser Keith, go green, environmental, world saving commute to work on a bike, fitness drive" and totally enjoyed it. It was quite windy and I must admit an old lady of about 86 years of age flew passed me whistling an old world war II tune, as I was gasping for breath up a long hill.

But it’s a start, so with Steve’s advice ringing in my ears, the help of men’s health motivational book “Banish your belly”, the lone of captain dog’s bike and a f**king great big climate crisis to solve, I hope to continue on, rain or shine.

Feel the Burn...
And the sore Arse Cheeks...

Devil Bird

We’ve been on a bit of a chicken buzz lately at Chez Silk. I recently bought a Moroccan Tagine and cooked up some lovely and very easy to prepare meals in it. One of which was Chicken Tagine with preserved lemons and olives. The preserved lemons were a bit tricky to get but we found them in Waitrose, they gave the dish as promised on the label a pleasant sharpness and added a zest and sweet and sour aroma.

Also on the menu was some jerk Chicken that I devoured late one night after a few beers, they were marinated in Reggae reggae sauce which I still highly recommend.

Last night we had Polla Alla Diavola or Devil chicken done on the BBQ. The dish gets its name from its look. You have to spatchcock the chicken which involves slicing out the backbone of the chicken and flattening it out prior to cooking time. The result looks like the head of the devil. Rock...

Next week we move on to Ostrich. If anyone has some good recipes, please add a comment, although spatchcocking an ostrich could pose a bit of a problem!

Fathers Day

I had a great Fathers day this year Georgia and Jed invaded our bedroom with cards and presents after I had woken from a well deserved lye-in.
Of course they had both made their cards as we have drummed into them thriftiness from an early age. They also gave me a new dressing gown, a chocolate orange and a bottle of wine from Italy with a Piaggio Vespa scooter on it. Splendid!
We then headed off to see Poppa and Nanny had laid out a fantastic feast for us all. On the way home we popped in to see Nicole’s daddy and then wizzed back to Ramsgate for baths and a quick game of snap before bedtime.

Holy Smoked

Impulse buying is by far the best way of purchasing items.
Whilst pricing up a new shed at Homebase to replace the one I had demolished.
I come across a Ranch Charcoal Smoker, need I say more it was in the trolley in an flash.

Nicole purchased some pork sausages and chicken for us to test out the new smoker. After a very long wait and lots of nervous anticipation we dished up the smoked meat.

WOW!!! Forget your standard BBQ’s this stuff is fantastic. Next on the menu are some pork ribs and Mr Eddie Gadd has shown an interest in smoking some hops for a brewing experiment.

I will keep you posted on that but in the mean time, I recommend a pint of Gadds’ Dark Mild Ale with some smoked sausage.

Lovely!

Real Gone Shed

It must be the sun that brings the DIY demon in me because no sooner had I build the new play house I broke out the sledge hammer and demolished the shed to make a nice sun patio at the end of the garden. Nicole lent a hand and we both had a smashing time.


Fnar Fnar!

Glorious Erection !

Recently I helped my friends John and Emma move house and was given in return their unwanted play house for the kids.

In the pouring rain we dismantaled the house and packed it up and relocated it in pieces to my garden in Ramsgate.

Fast forward a few weeks and the sun has come out. not wasting any time I picked up my hammer and a big bag of nails and erected the new house with a brand new roof supplied from Wicks.

Needlees to say Georgia and Jed love their new house playing in it every chance they get.

So cheers John and Emma much appriciated and for everyone else please marvel at my glorious erection!

Keith

Cat Attack

This weekend I will be investing in some garden protection.

I have designed my garden in the style of a meadow, unfortunately this in cat'an'ese seems to mean Shit here!  

Georgia's shoes tend to be magnets for cat poop, therefore I have had enough of last minute shoe cleaning before the school run or any other excursion the family might be undertaking.

Also they like to do their business in my herb garden and I,m a bit tired of trying to explain "that hidden ingredient" in my special KK Pasta Sauce at dinner parties!  

My investigations have found the following garden defences, my favourite being the sonic gun hours of fun could be had.

1. Tin of Salmon with crumpled up cork mixed in. "Apparently it messes up their guts and kills them, a bit extreme, I think!" Plus Rolf Harris won't be to impressed.
2. Tiger Poo, Errrm even if I could get hold of it. I'm damn sure the Odour will be a little off putting at this summers BBQ's.
   
3. Jays Liquid. Not too Organic is it.
   
4. Mega sonic cat repeller gun! COME ON... King Keith Big cat safari time...
   

Move over Nintendo Wii, its Cat shoot-em up time...

Annis horribilis

I haven’t made a blog entry for some time; this is because I can only describe as the start of an annis horribilis.

Clio our little Renault gave up and after a long and loyal service. The straw that broke Clio’s back was her Catalytic converter fell off and needed to be replaced. We decided it wasn’t worth the cost and she took her final drive to the crusher where we all said our teary goodbyes.

Then our washing machine blew up which cost us £150 to fix via taking out a maintenance cover for it.

Next on the list was our brand new boiler blew a circuit board and needed to be replaced no charge but dam inconvenient and quit chilly.

Whist waiting for our new boiler to be fixed we decided to take ourselves to my mother’s house and enjoy a nice Sunday roast and baths. However, on the way the drive belt snapped and in the end cost £1500 to be replaced.

We thought this would be the last of our bad luck, but oh no.
The tumble dryer’s thermostat packed in and needed to be replaced...

Could there be any more I hear you ask! well sir, yes indeed there is...
Our oven packed up...
Can you believe it?
NO...

Also we have been through three, count them three, Kettles since Christmas.

In the bathroom our lovely original Victorian basin cold tap snapped off in my hand.

Finally whilst driving to Brighton on a job that I originally booked as holiday but agreed to work instead, West Sussex’s finest took a lovely photo of me doing 88mph on a 70mph road, and only charged me £60 and three points on my licence, things must be looking up then?
Totally my fault I know, and hold my hands up to my idiocy.

Anyway I had an epiphany the other day that I was going to win the lottery so fingers crossed. You got to be in it to win it!
Ehrm! Yeah well I’m in it all right...

Gijon

Last Saturday Nicole, Jon, Bekie, Jus, Dean, Sarah, Darren, Bal and I all took off for a long weekend in Gijon in Northern Spain, arriving at the regional airport Asturias. We took a taxi to Gijon taking around 25 minutes and costing 40 Euros. Initial thoughts as we sped past the harbour were that we were back in Ramsgate.

We paid the driver and checked into the Mick Jagger suite at the Hotel Celuisma Pathos.

After unpacking we headed to the local Sideria to sit in the afternoon sun and relax.

Heading back to the hotel to change and shower we stopped off at the local market in the old town plaza and bought some local pastries to soak up the booze and tide us over until the evening meal.

We met up with Bal and Darren in the hotel bar after their epic journey and we all headed out on the town. Stopping at various bars for tapas and ending up in a resturant for a slap up meal of Entrecote of beef, a Veal dish, Calamarie and scrambled eggs with baby eels... Yummy.

We ended the night at the excellent Kitsch Cafe and all staggered back to the hotel in the early morning.

The next morning Nicole and I promenaded along the beach, its huge waves crashing in and the sea air clearing our heads. Nicole had a craving for some chips so after a brief walk around the town we ended up in DOS 40, a tidy resturant for lunch and both had a hangover curing "Huevos con frites un jamon" Ham eggs and chips in a spanish stylie.

The rest of the crew turned up in the bar after their walk about and we all settled in for a long afternoon of freshly sliced ham, paprika crisps and various other tapas washed down with Cava, Rioja, Spanish lager and sherry only broken up by brief walks.

The food looked good so we booked a table for the evening and set about translating the menu. Everyone had their own plate this time and the meals and starters included in no paticular order as follows;

"Fabada" which is a rich stew of white beans, morcilla (spanish black pudding), chorizo, pancetta (bacon) and saffron, Which I would highly recomend if you visit Asturias,

Confit de canard, a french dish,

Magret de canard, also a french dish,

Grilled Vegtables, that looked delicious and a whole meal in itself,

Calamari's, this ended up being white fish gijons for some unexplained reason,

Revuelto, a spanish style scrambled eggs,

Prawns with garlic mayonnaise,

Steaks,

The biggest crab salad i've ever seen,

Mushrooms and grilled peppers on toast,

Huevos con frites un jamon

plus other treats that escapes me.

The next morning we all hit the town with our credit cards out, Skinny jeans being the main item on the girls lists and boots. I am pleased to announce that after about ten years of searching Nicole has finally found jeans that actually fit her so she bought two pairs!

I bought surprise surprise for those who know me an Asturian cookbook, the ingredients for Fabada, and some Sardine paste, a favorite on our summer picnics.

We got to the airport in good time and treated ourselves to a last spanish lunch before boarding the plane back to Stanstead.

A big thank you to Lord Jonathon Stringer for organising the trip and can't wait for the next one...

KK...

Click Here for our snaps...

New Bedroom

Our new bedroom is finished after a long slog with new boilers and radiators, a partition stud wall, matching the coving and ceiling paper, fixing the floorboards, installing a new door and the final selection of wallpaper, carpet and matching up paint to it.

We were unable to match the picture rail so my dad (Aka Poppa) made his own and we replaced the skirting and dado rails completely and stained and varnished them. Nicole has not stopped grinning like a Cheshire cat all week and we are off to Homebase this weekend to get a chandelier and a new set of blinds.

The room has been finished to a brilliant standard and I would like everyone to know what a fantastic Dad I have for all his weekends he has put in, to get the job done and all the tips and tricks he has shown me over the past weeks, he even let me have a go at the plastering, NOT!!!
Thanks Poppa...

I have added a few before and after shots, let me know what you think.









On to the next Job Now DOH!

Toucan Crossing

Whilst taking part in the Thanet Yomp 2007 I was disappointed to see on that the Pedestrian and Cycle crossing signs otherwise known as Toucan Crossings had no reference to the Birds at all.

I would therefore like to suggest that Thanet council scrap the current road signs and replace them with a sign designed around the image of the Bird.
My suggestions are as follows:

OR
Anyway the Thanet Yomp 2008 is to take place on the 13th September and if anyone would like to take part in the 30 mile sponsored walk around Thanet please email me.

Alternatively sponsorship details will be published soon.

Great Scott!

I recently visited The Ramsgate Brewery run by Mr Eddie Gadd to purchase some of his splendid Ales, Eddie has a selection of ales on draft that you can take away with you in plastic containers to enjoy at home at a very reasonable £6.00 for 4 pints.

I could choose from the following ales:

Seasider – Bitter-sweet with slight citrus and orange notes

Storm Warning – My personal favourite
Great Scott – Bitter-sweet & Faintly Smoky

I decided to try Great Scott and found it to be excellent.

It has a lovely smoky finish with the peaty flavours coming through.

Eddie says he tried to produce the ale with a faint reminiscence of top single malt piercing through every now and then and I think he has achieved it.

Also on sale are some fantastic bottled beers from Europe and a few from the Dark Star Brewery – Sussex including the extremely popular Espresso Stout.

So get yourself down to the Gadds Beer shop and support our local brewer.