All Tomorrow’s Parties, Butlins, Minehead 2009

This year I was invited to the ATP’s The Nightmare Before Christmas festival at Butlins in Minehead, or as I read on a recent tweet “the bearded guy in Skinny jeans and trapper hat festival". I have always wanted to go but for one reason or another have never made it to any of the events over the last ten years.

I can honestly say that I am gutted that this was my first one because it was right up my street. Known for its alternative approach to a music festival, it takes over the out of season holiday camp with a single band or artists choice of music. This year was a special tenth year celebration and is being held over ten days. The festival kicked off with a long weekend curated by My Bloody Valentine then you have the opportunity to stay for the in between days to watch various bands playing in the smallest venue and to 100 or so people watching, starting up again on Friday for another long weekend with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Mudhoney and Sunn O))) to name a few of the fortyish bands playing.

My highlights of the last weekend was the good banter in the chalet and lovely vegetarian food cooked up by Karen, we had a good crew of ATP buddies including Josh and myself, Lee, Bev, Kerry and Karen. We also hung out with Dave and his chalet full of Thanetonians.

On a musical note we started off with WITCH that I enjoyed and has J Mascis (Dinosaur Jr) drumming for them. That night we watched My Bloody Valentine and let’s just say they were loud, very loud.

Other bands that stood out for me were Lightning Bolt that are famed for their gorilla style gigs as in they set up on the floor with everyone around them.
A Place To Bury Strangers, who are quite possibly my new favourite band.
Sonic Youth who were my old favourite band.
J Mascis and the Fog that had Kyle Spence (from Widespread Panic) on bass that I watched on my own while everyone had dinner back at the chalet and they were excellent.
The Buzzcocks playing hit after hit and some might say blew MBV off the stage.
Plus a band called Fucked Up from Toronto, Canada that finished off a night with a blast of lead singer Pink Eyes punk rock excellence.
Also, surprisingly for me, I enjoyed Harmony Rockets - Performing Paralyzed Mind of the Archangel Void, a single 42-minute ambient noise piece.

To sum up I had an enjoyable long weekend that I will be attending next year and possibly in New York this summer my fingers are crossed while I type (Hint, Hint Nicole big birthday coming up).

Oh and if anyone would like to take over my Christmas duties this weekend so that I can nip down for the ten years of ATP shows, I would be forever grateful.
KK

Are you to old for skateboarding?

My daughter has recently taken up skateboarding and every week I take
her down to Revolution Skate park in Broadstairs for a two hour lesson
that she loves. The thing is I am so jealous of my little angel and
really want to join in. The problem I face is I haven't been on a
deck for around twenty years plus, but surly its like riding a bike.
Right? Also it's gunna hurt as a teenager falling off was no problem.
However, 13 stone (Okay 14 stone) of 39 year old man bones hurtling
towards the ground after a misplaced Ollie is a scary thought.
Well I'm always up for some stupid idea or another, so I think I will
give it a bash, although I am gunna look a right tool in the safety
gear!

KK

No beer for a year!

Captain dog has recently posted that he is to abstain from the
delights of alcoholic beverages for a year.

I must admit I too have been feeling the wrath of the binge drinking
Gods a bit to much recently.
Therefore, I am accepting the challenge with my canine pal.

So, its no beer for a year then! More importantly this means we will
be so fit and healthy on next years Yomp, that we will be able to star
jump the thirty odd miles round or with all the money we save we could
employ people to carry us round on cushioned platforms.

KK

Strange gizmo

I have to wear this strange gizmo for twenty four hours, that reads my
blood pressure every half hour.

This has all come about from the fact I need a nose job (another
story) and the hospital won't operate on me because on the pre op my
blood pressure was to high.

The fact of the matter "I believe" is that on the morning of the pre
op, I took delivery of eight railway sleepers that got dumped on the
road leaving me no option other than lifting them all into my garden,
then already running late for the appointment I got into some verbal
road rage with a fine example of Ramsgate's taxi fleet only to be
stuffed in a hospital waiting room with dog eared copies of magazines
that no self respecting metro sexual wannabe would dare to hold. Then
with nowhere to run or hide I mistakenly and unintentionally partook
in a one sided conversation with a hospital cleaner, She gave me an
hour long lecture about the state of Thanet's housing market for gods
sake.
Now you might think that's it, but no. This was followed by a middle
aged but very hot nurse asking me questions about my general health
and bending down with a very low-cut top on to take my blood pressure.
White coat syndrome! I shit it, try a morning like that to get ya
heart racing. Anyway.
I finally get sadomasicism now! It's like knowing when the pain is
coming but you find yourself sitting and waiting for it with a sick
longing, that only goes away briefly after the gizmo has very nearly
severed your arm off with its sick and demented huffing and puffing.
Gunna be a long night! Me thinks...
KK

2009 Thanet Yomp. Done!

We did it again 25 odd miles in 8 hours a bit of mountaineering and
only two beer stops along the way. As ever the conversation was
enjoyable and we all got a few rants off which were recorded by the
distance they lasted. This year the rant champion was SAS Steve with
his impressive half a mile rant from the sea cross country towards St
Nicolas at wade.

The dog poop count was unbelievably high and we decided that if dog
owners can't pick it up, then we will as a civilised society will have
to exterminate all dogs and force the ex-dog owners to have cats or
hamsters on leads instead as all cats in Thanet Poop in my garden
anyway. Thus leaving the public walkways clean and as for hamsters,
their poop is not quite so offensive to the foot as dog poop is.

We also discussed the Royal Marine Commandos final test the infamous
thirty miler in eight hours.
From the blisters on my feet and aching limbs I take my hat off to all
Marines as we were quite a bit behind them in distance and time plus
they don't even get beer breaks on route.

For the photographic diary of the 2009 Thanet Yomp please have a look
at my fellow yomper Captain dogs blogg www.captaindog.blogspot.com

Also I can report that the Christmas house on the way to Westbrook
from Margate still has its decorations up. Who says Margate hasn't
got any character.

KK

The 2009 Thanet Yomp.

The Thanet Yomp has come upon us again taking place this coming Saturday.

No clues as of yet as to which way round the island we will be going,
just see how the wind takes us I guess. Although, I enjoyed last
years route but this probably has a lot to do with the first years
crippling blisters.

I am looking forward to a nice slice of home-made carrot cake from the
café in Cliftonville as we pass by and there have been preliminarily
talks on having beers after we finish, which will take the meaning of
staggering home after a few to a whole new level.

The first year we counted the islands coastal walls racist graffiti,
the second we noted the homophobic graffiti. So this year for a nice
change I think I will be counting the dog crap that people have
forgotten to pick up after their mutts have defecated on public foot
paths.

So god speed fellow Yompers Captain Dog and SAS Steve and if you see
three bumbling wrecks hobbling past your place in Thanet raise a hand
and give us a cheer.

KK

Ceiling Rose

Today I am going to attempt to put up a new ceiling rose and fit a new
combination fan and light. If I succeed my triumphant pictures shall
follow. If I don't, Its been a good life and I regret nothing . KK

Wardrobes

Wardrobes are like a reverse tardis. No matter how big the wardrobes
you buy you will never fit everything you want into it. So that's it
I'm going to buy a house with one of those fancy walk-in wardrobes to
see if I can fill that up. But surely a walk-in wardrobes is just a
room on a room or some might say a closet and I bet you that I just
end up putting a wardrobe in my walk-in wardrobe, filling both my walk
in wardrobe and walk-in wardrobes wardrobe an then I will have to look
into getting some rented storage in an industrial estate somewhere.
What a palaver this will be! It will take me ages to get ready for a
night out on the town. Oh and don't get me started on ironing!

KK

Birthday Season

Georgia and I both had great birtdays this year. Celibrations
included a ten pin bowling and beach party for Georgia and we all went
out for a slap up meal for mine. Then on the following Saturday Nicole
and I meet up with Dean, Parks and Stringer for a few tall ones on
the Ramsgate strip. On the Sunday we hit the beach hut again followed
by a Pizza party back at the house and that's not all, we are off for
two days of plastic brick filled fun at Legoland. Yippee I love
Birthday season...! KK

Navy Seals

“Would you give me a cuddle Stuart, that shiny bike has put the wind right up me?”

"WOW! Look at that bicycle Simon; I think it’s a Marin Alp Mill Valley?"

"Sorry Sid, I can’t tell the Sun is shining on it."

Seals

I went out on my bike yesterday and found myself on the banks of the
estuary near Sandwich confronted by thirty odd seals, when along came
Captain Pugwash with a boat load of camera happy tourists. Proudly
grabbing his loud speaker he announced, "Excuse me Sir, but you
probably didn't no that your shiny bike is scaring the seals".
Now I was glad to hear that he appreciated the polish on my beautifully
maintained bicycle, however It was only on reflection that I thought
hold on a minute Captain Pugwash, what about your diesel powered,
ocean polluting, smelly, noisy, overcrowded, camera flashing tug boat
you f**king pompous Birdseye add campaign.

So although I initially felt a tad guilty I got over it on my ride home.

zip's

Are zip front jeans the devils creation? I have worn some jeans today with a zip fastener, I haven't worn these particular jeans for a while, and must admit that i was a bit hasty in the speed of fastening this morning. Anyway no harm done. So fella's be warned. Zip up jeans are not just for christmas. They could be for life!

Millau Viaduct

Josh and I drove over the Millau Viaduct on our way to Spain and on
the way back. It is quite a sight. The highest vehicular bridge in
the world. very impressive...

Calais

End of the road in Calais and Keith treats Josh to a 5 star hotel with bunk beds, before our big shop tomorrow at city europe. On tonights agenda, bowling and a meal in a french stylie.

heading home

We were somewhere around Clermont on the edge of the Pyreenes when the Buffalo burgers began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; Maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Paris. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jubus! What are these goddamn animals?" Then it was quiet again. Josh had taken his shirt off and was pouring San Miguel on his chest, to facilitate the tanning process. "what the hell are you shouting about?" he muttered, staring up at the sun with his eyes closed and covered with Spanish Kanye West sunglasses. "Never mind," I said. "It's your turn to drive." I pointed the Ford focus toward the Etap hotel. No point mentioning those bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough.

it's over

Saturday night Josh and I stayed up until 07:00 strutting our stuff to 2many DJs. Which I might add "were excellent". The next day started a tad late but we managed a dip in the pool to sooth poor Josh's sun burn. That night Josh bravely jumped on the bus to head to the festival with Neil and Mark from Maidstone "small world" while i had a touch of thirty-eight-itus and needed some sleep. On all accounts the Killers were good but Franz Ferdinand still hold the title for band of the festival, and coming from a life long Oasis fan you can imagine how good they were.

day three

Franz Ferdinand and Maximo Park stole the show so far.

The beers are huge!

Beers come in one litre cups! oh dear what shall I do.

Earth, Wind and Fire.

Day two got cancelled after a huge wind storm and a fire in a field near the venue.

travel bingo

Finally the game is complete when we spotted these horses.

home sick

Josh is feeling a bit home sick so i thought i would post this picture of his Mummy for him.

Oasis

We're in

porn shorts

The festival has begun as Keith breaks out the porn shorts.

Bull's

We have been invited to a local bull fight tonight by a local nutter. Apparently on bulls will be harmed.

dos Estrella amigo

the story so far...

Just entered taragona, josh mallet (number 1 eighties kid) has managed to lose the directions out the window. Also finding it interesting that keith listens to hot chip in the bath... Which he claims 'the robotic movements create a great lathering of soap.'

Base Camp 1

Shit, showered & shaved ready for the final assent.

Ramsgate to Beziers 750 mile drive and a very welcoming American diner and hotel. Night all.

Claude the Hitch-hiker

Around 2pm we picked up a hitchhiker named Claude, who we think wanted
to be a wasp, after we noticed his yellow & black jumper. We dropped
him off at Vichy after many hours together when mid conversation Keith
rudely zipped down the window and he buzzed away...

travel games

Keith and josh have nearly completed road trip bingo, however we are still to see a horse, road works and traffic lights. 270 miles to perpignan and not a horsey insight!

skinny jeans and long journeys dont mix!

We reach paris as keith loses circulation to his cock!

On the road

starting line

Kasabian @ Wembley

beach hut art

Benicassim

Benicassim blogs coming soon.

Does my bum look big in this?

I'm at a loss - all the Sword Fencing, Cycling and occasional trip to the gym just ain't doing it anymore. I'm going to have to face it, I need to change my diet. The problem is I like fatty food washed down with a lovely pint of wasted calorie beer or two. To compensate this there just ain't enough miles in the day that I can run to cover the food intake. So it all has to go and its sprouting shoots and mung bean casserole for me. Joy!

Although Gillian McTeeth is a bit of a babe... In the swine variety that is....

Jed perfect day new clothes and a tram ride


Strike a pose




Early new kids on the block promo shot



King of the pit

No pushing

I AM MAN!!!

A lite walk German style!

Wolf cubs

Bear bathing

Ice me up buttercup!

The crew at Peppers

Err Waitress, I ordered a large coffee?

Our Hotel

Easter in Germany

Family Silk had a sunny Easter in Bielefeld Germany visiting Noel, Tina and Jona.

We all had a splendid time and topped up the larder with lots of German treats and more importantly Beer.

Bielefeld is a fantastic city with plenty to do for all, it's set in the beautiful Teutburger Forrest. Highlights of the trip were Frühstück at ALEX Brassiere, a trip to the tierpark, stuffing our faces at an ice cafe and Peppers restaurant and of course a BBQ at the MacMillan Farm...

Love is...

Of all the girls in the world I ended up with this one.

Aren't I Lucky?

Happy Valentines Pup...

Hubby Keith...

Smokeless free thinking!

Okay it's been a month and a bit without a smoke and I have to say I haven't found it too hard.
One thing I have noticed is that it seems to of affected my dreams and sleeping pattern.
I find myself wide awake in the middle of the night thinking about the strangest things.

One notable thought I had in the wee hours was “Why don't we use Hovercrafts any more?”.

Before anyone comments on economical aspects of such marine transport, I'd like to say I really don't give a damn.
Anyway I will keep you updated with anymore strange early morning thoughts in due course.

KK

Goodbye Old Friend...

I have come to the conclusion that life is just one big long list of things you start and eventually give up because some new scientists has discovered that it is bad for you. Chocolate, Smoking, Red meat, being Fat, Masturbation! You get the drift.

Anyway, I made my first ever new years resolution this year, that I would stop smoking. Those that have known me a while will suggest that "I'm not a real smoker anyway" because I don't smoke unless I have a beer. Now, this is true but it just to cold to go outside all the time and popping out every half hour just gives people a chance to talk about you in your absence, like "He should really give up Smoking!". It's also extremely expensive and apparently very very bad for you.

So, its been ten days and I haven't had a smoke yet, although I haven't had a beer either. However, I might pop down the pub later tonight with Captain dog, so lets see if I have the will power to overcome my smoking by association habit.

On a lighter note (Pun intended) It's Jed's 4th birthday party today, and we are having a house full of his gang from nursery, no girls allowed of course. We are laying on the expected Cake and Jelly and plenty of 4 year old friendly party games and prizes, after which I will probably require some of Jamaica's finest to combat the stress of it all!

So to Smoking its good bye old friend, can't say I will be missing you and to gossiping with all the other non smokers, where do I sign up?

Love
Smoke free dubsy.